Sarah Jane Humke

The life of a traveling, reading, writing, spining and knitting shepherdess.

1, 2, 3, 4, what in the hell is this day for August 31, 2008

I don’t really feel up to being creative right now, cleaning up dog poop from previously pictured cuties really takes the creativity right on out of a person (though, I am thankful that they are small dogs as I have cleaned-up rottweiler poop in the past, and that will just knock you flat on your ass!). So, I have decided to do a list of things that you probably don’t know about me.  Here goes…

1.)  I own over 3000 books.  I have more books than many small libraries do.  It’s a pretty amazing thing to behold, especially in a house that is under 1000 square feet.

2.) I have been working on my degree in horticulture since 1995.  I am finally set to expire, I mean graduate, this coming spring from the University of Florida.  Which, coincidentally, was voted the #1 party school in the US this year.  Go Gators!

3.) I love to sleep.  If one could really call sleeping a pastime, it would totally be mine.  And I am GOOD at it, like olympic level good.  I need my 8 hours or I am a seriously cranky woman.  However, I have a very hard time sleeping in public (like on planes or trains or places where folks are waiting for planes and trains).

4.) I write letters.  With real paper and quite often a fountain pen.  This is not some sort of response to an ever increasingly computerized world, I have been doing this consistently since I was in grade school.  I like to write on paper much more than I do typing.  I tend to be able to show my emotions through my handwriting a little better than through emotion-cons.  I also tend to coat the envelope of my letters with stickers.  I love stickers.

5.) I crochet.  I tend to crochet blankets.  I do not like reading patterns, but I love looking at pattern books.  I am trying to make a blanket from a pattern right now and it’s like trying to get me to speak dolphin.  Neither is very pretty.

6.) I can swear pretty raucously in Bulgarian.

7.) I love airplanes.  I love being by airports for the really little planes (you know, the 2 seat-er Cessna’s and planes like that).  My brother is in the Iowa National Guard and is a crew chief for a Black Hawk helicopter.  Other than the whole “going to Iraq for a year thing” I am so jealous.

8.) I wanted to elope.

9.) I want to drive to Alaska from Florida. As part of this, I LOVE Northern Exposure and am so VERY VERY jealous of Amy from The Hook and I for getting to move to Cordova, Alaska.  So, while I am getting ready to move to somewhere near but outside of London, I am living vicariously through her.

10.) I have loved Martha Stewart since I was in middle school.


Ok, enough for now.


Doh August 30, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sarah Jane Humke @ 1:02 am
Micheal, the "dangerous" dog from yesterday's rant.

Micheal, the

I want to pack. I may be the only human on the face of the planet who loves to pack things. In fact, I am also pretty good at it.  I don’t know where this talent came from, as I never moved anywhere until college. Yep, grew-up in the same house from the time that I was a couple of days old until I was 17 and went off to Iowa State.  So this talent isn’t one that was formed from moving every few years because my dad was in the military or something.  No, he was a farmer.  I don’t think that I totally understood the whole moving thing until I was well into high school since I didn’t really know anyone who had ever moved.  Yeah, I know, weird.

Still, I want to start packing, but I have no place to put the boxes.


Very frustrating.


I started finishing my spinning wheel today.  Got shit from a coworker about “why do you even want to spin yarn, isn’t it cheaper and better to buy it?”.  He just so does not get it I think.

It is going to take a while to put the “proper” oil finish on this thing.



Meara, with laundry.


So, now to cheer us all up, I am attempting to insert photos into this blog.  Isn’t Meara in the laundry cute?

Lucy goosey and company

Lucy goosey and company


Yes, I have geese.  Don’t y’all?

Cutie Weezy

Cutie Weezy


Ok, that’s it for today.  I’ll introduce you to the rest of the Humke zoo later.


I get to go hooking tonight or, also known as, why I love Thursdays August 28, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sarah Jane Humke @ 7:19 pm
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I haven’t been to a Hooker’s Meet-up in a month.  If any of y’all know anything about me, then you will know that this is probably the longest that I have gone without my hooking hook-up since I started, well, hooking-up.  (Yeah, I know, but I just couldn’t resist!).  I’ve missed my crazy gang of hookers pretty seriously.  I was sitting in Marrakesh on Thursday wondering what they were all up to.  I know, pretty pathetic, I mean, I was in MOROCCO for God’s sake!  And I was missing my CROCHET meet-up!  I was also missing my dogs and cats pretty damn seriously too, just so that you know.  I kept thinking, “Meara would love to smell/roll-in/try to eat that,” all over the place.  Andlet me tell you, there are plenty of places in Morocco that I was thinking that!  However, missing the kitty’s was a little harder as there were cats EVERYWHERE!  Anyway, story for another time…

Today I took almost the entire Humke zoo to the vet.  We were without the birds as they have different vetting requirements to get into the UK.  Lets just say that I have to pull a freaking CITES permit for them.  I have the file-folder of DOOM started, and folks, it’s only gonna get fatter!  Anyway, so I’m schlepping all 4 cats in their crates and 2 dogs (for whom I forgot to bring leashes) and a box full of blooming African violets (I am a weirdo) up the steps to the vets office door at the ass-crack of dawn in order to have a blood test done to make sure that their rabies vaccines took.  Then, I have to wait 6 months to make sure that they don’t have rabies!  This rant is directed towards the folks who thought this plan up to torture me and my pets.  You, are a fuckwit and need to have a fucking chip implanted in your neck to see how it feels you assholes and blood drawn every other week and a ginormous man wearing a t-shirt saying “hurt me baby” who giggles like a little girl and wears combat boots makes you their bitch and puts you in a crate and drives around with you in it for a while.  Oh, and don’t forget the plane ride in the cargo hold asshole.  While I’m at it, I am going to rant at the stupid, small-minded pricks who do not allow any dog who “may” belong to a “dangerous breed” to come into the country.  ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND?!?!?!?!??!  There are pit bulls, unaltered I might add, on every freaking corner in the UK. What planet are you ON? (Or maybe, I should ask, what areyou on?) I am having to leave my baby, Micheal, with my brother in Iowa because he might be part pit bull (or part boxer, or part stupid, who knows!) and you do not allow them into your country.  He has an obediance higher learning degree.  He is 10 years old. He has been neutered since he was 5 months old. Y’all are just assholes.  Punish the PEOPLE, not the dogs.  I don’t know why this concept is so difficult to understand or accept. 

Ok, rant is done, for now.  Sorry about that.  As you can guess, this is not a “family friendly” sort of blog.  In other words, don’t use it as a bedtime story for your little ones unless you want their first words to be, “fuck off mommy.”


Lobster-Mama August 27, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sarah Jane Humke @ 10:25 pm
Tags: , , , ,

A number of random ass things to discuss today…..

Random bit #1  I am officially the lobster-mama of lobster-mamas today.  I was outside in the Florida August sun from around 10 to 2.  Yeah, I know, dumb.  In my defence, I didn’t think that it would take that damn long! Also, it’s not as though I put a baby in a tanning bed.  I guess that living in Florida sort of skews your view of things, but I didn’t think that people still USED tanning beds!  I mean, why are those things still allowed indoors when all smokers need to go outside pretty much anywhere now!  Anyway, when I was home, in Iowa, I saw women going to use the tanning bed….in August.  Iowa is still a ways behind in some areas I think….  Anyway, I digress, I was outside a tad too long and now my face and a little of one arm is pink.  I blame it on London. I won’t be so quick to make fun of the VERY pink Brits that you see everywhere along the coast of Florida.

Random bit #2 My fear of the medium brown Billy bookcases being discontinued at Ikea.  Well, putting it out there seems to not have helped.  I went to Ikea last night to put my mind at ease, figuring that it was only an weird European thing, not anything to do with Ikea US.  Well, I had a very nice guy there try to look them up in the computer when I couldn’t find them in the catalog.  They weren’t in the computer! At all! I bought 2 and will go get some of the doors to go with them with the next paycheck. There are times that I am glad that I am anal retentive about weird things and this is one of them.

Random bit #3  I saw a lady yesterday driving a rascal (you know, one of those little motorized chair/scooter thingys that it only seems really fat people use) with a little red wagon hooked to the back of it with a big red dog in the wagon.  I almost drove off of the road laughing and REALLY wished that I had a camera phone.

Random bit #4  Wilma, my cat of many years, suddenly decided that she wants to be an inside cat again.  This after probably 8 years of roughing it outdoors.  She just walked in like she’s been doing it all along.  currently, she is hissing at the cat food (I think that it smells like Jiji, of whom she has zero experience) and sleeping. Odd, but nice.  I haven’t liked having an outdoor cat as I know that it is generally not healthy for them.  Tomorrow, she may decide to move back outdoors as she is going to the vet!

Random bit #5  I am scared of the yard.  It is big.

R.B. #6 I am looking forward to “them” taking away my husbands passport for awhile while he is home.  Is that bad?

R.B. #7 I have infected at least 2 other people with the crochet bug.  BTW, tomorrow night is the Altamonte Springs Happy Hooker group.  We meet at Panarea at the corner of 436 and Maitland.  Be warned, we are rowdy and loud and are not a “nice little group”. 

That’s all the randomness that I can handle today! Sooner or later, I will figure out how to post pictures here.  Watch out world!!


20′ or 40′? What do you think! August 26, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sarah Jane Humke @ 9:13 pm
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So I recieved an e-mail today from the very nice international moving lady.  I had e-mailed her asking how much more a 40′ container was compared to a 20′-er, which is what I had been getting quotes on.  The difference? $500. That’s it.  Here I was totally stressing out about which books I would have to leave behind, and it’s only $500 difference between all of my books and me losing more of my hair over this.  The amount of Rogaine it would take, not to mention storage costs, make it well worth the difference in price.  I was sort of starting to stress over (anyone who knows me is going to laugh their asses off at this one) filling a new house.  Ok, so here’s the reason for the stress.  An example from one house (that seems to be fairly representative of the houses in our range and area) that we looked at: 4 double bedrooms, conservatory and study, 3 reception rooms……and on and on.  That is a lot more roomage than we currently have in our lovely cracker cottage.  So, anyone not busy in Feburary to help fill a 40′-er?

So, it appears that I will have to do some serious delayed gratification on the ol’ spinning wheel.  First off, there was a whopsie in the shipping, and the extra bobbins that I ordered were for a single drive wheel not a double drive one.  So, I am awaiting the arrival of the correct bobbins.  I also feel the need to do a little bit of sanding to this bad boy before I begin oiling it.  Just a final go over, you know what I mean? Still, it is one more step. Then, the obvious oiling part will take probably at least a week, more if I actually have to do any work or school work.  So, my fantasy of coming home and sitting down at my new wheel and spinning up some of the fibers that I got while abroad will just have to wait.  Call me Miss Delayed Gratification.

I have been so bad about my snail mail correspondence of late. Well, not counting postcards.  I have always been pretty good in the postcard department (although it is looking as though the Moroccan postal service is not) as I seem to be able to find down time more often when I am traveling than when I am at home.  I blame it on cleaning. I need a housekeeper.  Or two, maybe….

Ok, I am going to go listen to NPR to see if there is some sort of storm of doom out there to sock it to Florida again.  I need to know if I should stock up on the kitty litter and milk bones.


Things that Worry me right now August 25, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sarah Jane Humke @ 8:53 pm
Tags: , , ,

I figure that if I get them out in the open, they cannot come true.  So, I am getting them as out in the open as I possibly can (with maybe the exception of having Susan Stamberg read them aloud at 8:30on a Tuesday morning).  I mean, what is more out there and in the open than on the freaking Internet I ask you?!  So, here goes the list.  No snickering, they may seem crazy to you, but you are not in my position (unless, you too are moving to the London area in about 6 months with 3 [possibly 4] cats, 2 dogs and 3 parrotlets and a whole passel of books.  If you are in this position, I so want to talk to you and maybe we could start a support group…).

The List

The pet posse will be “detained” in a Gatwick never-never land for weeks due to someone forgetting to staple two papers together in the correct manner or some other trivial thing like that.

That the pets will actually be harmed during the flight over to England.

The container containing all of my worldly possessions falls off of the ship in the middle of the frigid Atlantic during a “perfect storm”.

I will slowly freeze to death in England and/or die of consumption.

They confiscate my yarn stash thinking that surely no one who is not planning on opening a store would have this much yarn.  I try to convince customs that no one would buy so many non-matched skeins of the ugliest ombres and variegated acrylics that I could find, but the customs officer is color-blind, thus does not understand this.

I start speaking British.

I start spelling British.

I start cooking British.

I find that I am allergic to England.

The new house is in/on/too near to a graveyard.

Ikea discontinues the brown Billy bookcases.

I cannot find a job.

I cannot get into grad school anywhere.

I cannot have a baby (if the above two turn out to be true).

I somehow manage to not graduate.

I cannot find another hooking/stitching group that will accept me as the foul mouthed insane person that I am.

Nobody will come to visit. Ever.

My hair goes even more insane than it usually is in Florida since I will be wearing hats along with the humidity.

I will start liking knitting.

I won’t be able to find ANYTHING, ever AGAIN!

No one will ever read this blog.

Someone will read this blog.


The rest of the year is going to be rough, I think.

Pass the bamboo G hook will you?  I have some scrapghans to work on.


Home again, home again oh how the grass has grown. August 24, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sarah Jane Humke @ 10:22 pm

I’m starting this blog now, so that my friends will have a chance to become acquainted with it before I leave for England.  I am, ever the thoughtful friend am I not?:-)

Today is the first full day that I have been home in over two weeks.  It is strange to be home again, after being so many different places.  It feels as though I am already starting to leave it, like I am already disassociating myself from this place that I have spent a third of my life.  However, I did miss it deeply.  Both the place (ummmm… comfortable bed….) and the people that are here made me ache for home.

Be sure to check out the website :  for the pictures.