Sarah Jane Humke

Yes, today I am working on those most maligned yarn objects of the 70’s.  Why?  Because last week at the Happy Hooker’s meetup (which, by the way, is tonight in the Altamonte Springs location!) Birgitt reminded us all that we needed to get our squares to her in order that they can be actually put together into a blanket for someone in need.  DOH!  Totally forgot about them, thus I am making granny squares.  I can make them fast and almost without thinking (which is always the best way a crochet object should be made by me, as evidenced by previous blog posts), thus I may even get a few finished by the deadline.  Oh, and did I mention that I had a bunch sitting around that just needed a few more rounds on them in order to be the correct size?  They were leftovers from my brother’s Ugliest Afghan Ever and an aborted project.  Is this cheating?  I mean, I made most of them prior, so I did in fact make them, just not right now…..

Now, to the part that nearly broke my heart.  It was a catastrophe that took my breath away.  It almost made me cry.

I had to throw yarn away.

Yep, I had to part with some of my precious 70’s era olive greens and rust reds and (gasp!) even a few really good and ugly ombres (the 70’s were a very fertile time for these).  The reason you ask?  What could make you THROW AWAY YARN????????

One answer: Fetid cat pee.

Yep, you read that right.  Willma, the formerly outside cat now inside cat has used one bag full of yarn as her (it hurts to even write this) cat litter box.

There was a smell.  It didn’t go away with the cleaning of the litter box.  It didn’t go away with the inspection and cleaning of the floors.  It just wouldn’t go away.  Then, going into the yarn room, it got WAY (crinkle your nose and pucker your butt) stronger.  I start looking on the floor (as this is normally a logical place to look for such things) and happened to put my hand down on this bag of yarn to steady myself, and…..it was wet.  WTF?  Then I realized that the smell was coming FROM THE BAG!  It was quickly taken outside and placed in the garbage can (thank God that tomorrow is garbage day!).  I quickly inspected all the rest of the yarns. Most of them are in large plastic tubs and the ones that weren’t all seem to be ok (though I will have another inspection before the garbage truck arrives!).  Still, peeing and pooping in my holy space.  Huh.  No more cats in the yarn room EVER!!!!!