I haven’t been to a Hooker’s Meet-up in a month. If any of y’all know anything about me, then you will know that this is probably the longest that I have gone without my hooking hook-up since I started, well, hooking-up. (Yeah, I know, but I just couldn’t resist!). I’ve missed my crazy gang of hookers pretty seriously. I was sitting in Marrakesh on Thursday wondering what they were all up to. I know, pretty pathetic, I mean, I was in MOROCCO for God’s sake! And I was missing my CROCHET meet-up! I was also missing my dogs and cats pretty damn seriously too, just so that you know. I kept thinking, “Meara would love to smell/roll-in/try to eat that,” all over the place. Andlet me tell you, there are plenty of places in Morocco that I was thinking that! However, missing the kitty’s was a little harder as there were cats EVERYWHERE! Anyway, story for another time…
Today I took almost the entire Humke zoo to the vet. We were without the birds as they have different vetting requirements to get into the UK. Lets just say that I have to pull a freaking CITES permit for them. I have the file-folder of DOOM started, and folks, it’s only gonna get fatter! Anyway, so I’m schlepping all 4 cats in their crates and 2 dogs (for whom I forgot to bring leashes) and a box full of blooming African violets (I am a weirdo) up the steps to the vets office door at the ass-crack of dawn in order to have a blood test done to make sure that their rabies vaccines took. Then, I have to wait 6 months to make sure that they don’t have rabies! This rant is directed towards the folks who thought this plan up to torture me and my pets. You, are a fuckwit and need to have a fucking chip implanted in your neck to see how it feels you assholes and blood drawn every other week and a ginormous man wearing a t-shirt saying “hurt me baby” who giggles like a little girl and wears combat boots makes you their bitch and puts you in a crate and drives around with you in it for a while. Oh, and don’t forget the plane ride in the cargo hold asshole. While I’m at it, I am going to rant at the stupid, small-minded pricks who do not allow any dog who “may” belong to a “dangerous breed” to come into the country. ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND?!?!?!?!??! There are pit bulls, unaltered I might add, on every freaking corner in the UK. What planet are you ON? (Or maybe, I should ask, what areyou on?) I am having to leave my baby, Micheal, with my brother in Iowa because he might be part pit bull (or part boxer, or part stupid, who knows!) and you do not allow them into your country. He has an obediance higher learning degree. He is 10 years old. He has been neutered since he was 5 months old. Y’all are just assholes. Punish the PEOPLE, not the dogs. I don’t know why this concept is so difficult to understand or accept.
Ok, rant is done, for now. Sorry about that. As you can guess, this is not a “family friendly” sort of blog. In other words, don’t use it as a bedtime story for your little ones unless you want their first words to be, “fuck off mommy.”
Sarah Jane Humke 