Once again, I got my pesky valuable and very informative homework out of the way earlier today, so I am free to write this and not freak out about how it needs to be done before I can go to bed tonight. This is growth.
As I write this, I am also downloading some audio books to my ipod so that I can listen to them on the go and while I am crocheting. I know that I am a little slow on the up-take sometimes, but this idea just came to me last week (and I had to wait for tech support to get home to show me how to do it…). I think that this will greatly increase the number of books that I “read”.
Tonight was the Altamonte Springs Happy Hookers meet-up. It was a smaller than usual group tonight, but we had 2 finished projects! David finished his very cool shopping bag made out of cut up plastic shopping bags. All of those damn plastic Publix bags were finally put to good use. David best get to be faster at making them as he had an offer to buy the one that he was working on while we were sitting in our usual Panarea! This was a sort of unusual group in that my lovely husband came over and joined us for a little while. We are down to one car currently, so it was either that or he would stay at work until we were done. He got to meet Chris and David for the first time and oddly enough, Denise, our rocking housesitter! Yep, she had been staying in our house for more time than he has of late, and he had never met her. So it goes when you are an international TECH STAR!
David and his Crocheted Plastic Shopping Bag
The other finished project was the baby blanket that goes to the hubby’s brand new baby girl cousin. First girl on that side of the family since his mother, so a cause for much excitement. I still haven’t worked in the ends (as nobody had yarn needles handy) but it will be on it’s way to it’s intended by Monday! (Doh! I have probably cursed myself by typing that last statement!!!!)
The Baby Blanket, Girl Version
Tomorrow I take in Ivy, the cat from work, to get her spay surgery. She’s such a sweetheart of a cat, always purring and wanting to play or cuddle. Her momma is a very good social cat as well and I’m quite glad that she takes after her as far as personality goes. Ivy came to us from a friend’s organic herb and rose farm, so she was an all natural kitten! If you are ever in the Central Florida area, check out Seminole Springs Antique Rose and Herb Farm. Very cool place to hang out and very cool people to hang out with. The hubby and I often help out during the annual butterfly and herb festivals held out there.
Lovely IvyWhat a friendly cat!
Can
In totally unrelated news. Tonight I was in Barnes and Noble in the local shopping mall (I had gone into the mall to see if the shirts that go with my business suit were on sale yet [don’t ask]) and what should I find on the 2009 Page a Day calender display? The Yarn Harlot’s Never Not Knitting!Ok, so I admit that I bought it and from the looks of the display I wasn’t the first one. I just really didn’t want them to run out until I had gotten a copy. Of course, I always advocate buying such things at your local book or yarn shop. I’m so bad! If you haven’t yet checked our Stephanie Pearl-McPhee’s blog, be sure to. It is easily one of the best (and funniest) about knitting around. (And despite some occasional anamosity from both sides of the crochet/knitting line, it is still all working with yarn folks!)
Last night the hubby and I had a striking conversation on the way home from dinner at the sushi place. I was telling him about Rhinebeck (otherwise known as the NYS Sheep and Wool Festival) and how I was sad that I probably wouldn’t get to go to it since I wouldn’t probably be able to fly back from England for it next year. He asked when it was, and I said that I wasn’t too sure, but I knew that it was in the fall. Then, my wonderful, saintly, husband beyond all husbands said something to the effect of, “if it hasn’t already happened, why don’t you go.”
Indeed.
I was driving, and promptly nearly took out another car.
So, checked with the New Jersey living in-laws last night to see if I could stay with them (they said yes). Now, to just try to use the free ticket that we got from United for the bouncing us from our flights and Rhinebeck, here I come!!!! I cannot wait!
It could get interesting as the in-laws are trying to sell their house currently, and you know how much of a hassle that can be when you are living there!
In other news, on Monday morning bright and early after getting back from the Lake Tahoe wedding, I went to a Garden Club “coffee”. Once again I was there to show my appreciation for a rather large scholarship that the ladies had bestowed upon me. This meeting was in a kinda fancy area, so I actually wore most of a suit (the pants and the shirt, don’t get any ideas, it wasn’t thatkind of a meeting). It was nice to have my friends Amy and Diane there with me. Amy can always distract them from the cotton lint on my lap from crocheting during the car ride there with pictures of her absolutely adorable twin boys. It is a REALLY good diversionary tactic I tell you. We did our thing, ate a few cucumber sandwiches (surprisingly tasty to tell you the truth) and deviled eggs and went out to lunch together. I taught Amy a couple of stitches other than the single crochet and started to show Diane how to crochet. Let’s just say, Diane is already Tunisian crocheting without even trying (she’s a knitter, we won’t hold it against her!:-)). It was a really fun day and I wish that I could spend more time with both of them.
Today I actually did some work. Like, for work. It was an odd feeling….
Belle-Belle is sitting right in front of me licking her tummy like, “I may be rolly-polly, but I can still do this!”. Yeah, yeah…show-off… Almost as bad as the little kids that you see in line at the grocery store still wearing their little gymnastics outfits doing their little kiddie porn-like contortions in the aisle.
This weekend was a busy one for me. My husband and I flew to California, me from Orlando, he from London, for a wedding. The wedding was for, well, two people whom I had never met before, but my husband seems to like them and he is generally not wrong about folks (with one pretty glaring exception in my opinion, but that’s another story altogether) and well, how often does one get to say, “I’m flying to California for a wedding in Lake Tahoe,” in your life? I didn’t think so, me neither.
So, I set out with hopes held firmly high. Fly out to California all on my own (which I am still amazed that I can do without getting lost as hell). Go to a wedding in a fancy resort town, have fun! Right? Huh.
I had a horrible time just getting to the plane to begin with. The bus ride from my usual parking lot took twice as long as usual, and unseated me with many abrupt stops. Checking-in in the United terminal cumulated with me being accused of trying to steal my husbands frequent flyer miles by a gate worker. My husband had tried to upgrade me to first class for the flight from Chicago to Sacramento as a surprise, but hadn’t been able to sign a needed form to authorize it. It made for a very confusing and irritating time for me, and I just made my flight.
Now, the Orlando to Chicago flight sucks in the best of times. It is full of (usually) very small children who are over stimulated and tired and quite often, sunburned. I don’t know if it is a trait of Chicagoan’s, but it also seems that the children that are taken to Disney on this flight are often still too young to go to Disney! Ok, for all you parents out there, if your child is still wearing a diaper, it is too young to appreciate Disney. Just telling you. They will not remember it, so you just as well go to Club Med or some other appropriate and expensive resort that you will enjoy and save Mickey till they can poop without you having to clean it up!
Our flight was late leaving the gate as the pilots needed some stickers. Yep, you got that right, the pilots needed some stickers! They were supposed to have some stickers that go on top of a button to tell them not to touch the button. It makes me feel so much safer having stickers between the pilot and the buttons of DEATH! Sometimes I sort of wish that pilots weren’t always quite so honest……
However, as the pilot is telling us this, I was in the back thinking, “Fuck the upgrade, just give me a tranquilizer gun!”. I had a child of DOOM in front of me. No, not a baby crying, they don’t bother me to much (I mean, half the time in coach I want to cry myself, so I don’t really blame them….) but a full-fledged demon in short pants. He screamed, the threw full-body flailing tantrums. He threw stuff at me. He spent 40 minutes of the flight screaming and slamming open and shut his window shade. He went for mine, but this is one point where dog obedience actually came in handy (cause God knows it never came in handy with the DOG!) and I said a loud, firm, “NO!” and he sat down faster than Micheal the wonder dog ever did in obedience school days. It was only then that the mother sitting right beside him gave him a firm talking too. Ugh. So, for the 3 hours or so that it takes to get to Chicago I spent trying to stay calm so that I wouldn’t stuff a child in the overhead bin.
My notes, trying to preserve my mind
However, one thing that I noticed, was that the clouds from hurricane Hanna looked a lot like an unprocessed fleece, with the little waves in it and the right colors. I was so geeky, I even took pictures of the pretty wool-clouds from the airplane.
Wool Clouds
More wool clouds
I also tried to take a picture of myself crocheting the new travel baby blanket.
Geeky self-portrait with crochet
I got to Chicago and made it from one plane to the next with even enough time to grab a piece of overpriced pizza on the way. I get on the plane, sit down and settle in for a long flight. I am just taking out my crochet, when the mother and devil child start walking down the aisle. And then sit down directly behind me.
Oh holy fuck, who did I piss off?
I mean, now this little terror can kick the back of my seat. Which he does, for two hours straight. He also treats me to the rest of his screaming repertoire, including throwing things and flailing until his mother gets up for the proverbial dart gun to take him down. I don’t know what was in that stuff, but I was about to ask for some of it for myself at that point. But, it blissfully took him down until about 40 minutes before we landed.
Chris was at the Sacramento airport waiting for me when I landed. This airport is really small, it makes the Des Moines airport feel like O’Hare or something, it is small. While we were waiting the surprisingly long amount of time it took for our bags to arrive, I took a picture of the traveling blanket and the magazines that I read to show how much I had gotten done on the way there.
It's still a long ways from FL to CA!
We drove to Lake Tahoe that night, about a two hour drive, which I drove since Chris was, well, falling asleep at the wheel. It was dark so not very exciting. We arrived at the hotel around 1:30 in the morning California time, 4:30 Florida time. Doh, very tired…
Woke-up early-ish, around 8am to do some exploring. First we went to explore the Donner memorial state park. All I can say is that anyone who tried to go through that country in a covered wagon with freaking OXEN had a much bigger pair than I ever will.
Crocheting Donner Memorial
Then we went to Reno. I’m glad that we went, but I will never go there again. It was depressing and slightly seedy. Ok, not slightly, very seedy. I don’t know how Las Vegas is, but this was just sort of depressing. Oh, and they still allow smoking in the casinos. Perhaps I am just so used to smoking not being allowed anywhere anymore that this shocked me.
Yes, I am in the middle of the street...Already good in this area...
Needing an oxygen mask!!!
I'm serious, pretty seedy....
We then packed-up and headed to Lake Tahoe proper. Where we were staying wasn’t Lake Tahoe, but very very close to it. So, I got to see and walk in Lake Tahoe for a little bit.
Sarah getting wet n' wild!
We then drove back to the site of the wedding, which is actually Squaw Valley. This was the site of the 1960 winter Olympics.
With the cost of oil these days.....
There is a large complex that is at the top of the mountain where the games were actually held. You have to take a gondola ride to get up there, but once there, you can go swimming or roller skating or get some ice cream
I'm so high.....
On the edge
We came back down the mountain and got ready for the wedding that evening. It was a lovely wedding, but I have to admit something. I am pretty tired of weddings. I am sure that my outfit was at least part of the problem. My right boob kept wanting to come out and say hi to the world (and the CEO of Chris’ company and a LOT of his co-workers and their spouses) and the shoes that I had gotten the day before somehow were too big for me! Also, I don’t know if it was due to the altitude or the humidity, but after I blow-dried my hair, I had some super 80’s pouf going on.
Drunken wedding crocheting is always fun!
We left the reception fairly early on in the night as we had an early flight to catch from Sacramento the next day.
Yes I look like shit, I am hung over and tired as hell. What do you think you would look like?
We were originally supposed to fly to San Francisco then from there to Orlando, but our plans got a little changed when we were bumped off the first leg of our flight, and re-booked to Denver. The Denver airport is pretty, and we hung-out for our fairly long lay-over in the red carpet lounge eating crackers and cheese, wishing we were in a European lounge (they serve alcohol and real food).
We got onto our flight to go back to Orlando, only to have it delayed for an hour because they didn’t have enough people to load the baggage into our plane. All I could think was at least I don’t have the devil child anywhere near me on this flight! We got home around midnight, and back to our house around 1am. The puppies were quite glad to see us, as was a meowing Jiji (Or maybe she was just hungry, it’s always such a close call with her. I sometimes wonder if she wasn’t a member of the Donner party in a past life, she just sort of looks at me like she’s deciding where the tasty bits would be…).
It is very good to be home.
(Next wedding October 25th. Stay tuned…..)
P.S. Tech support is home, hence the reason half the photos are the size of an eraser and the other half are of normal proportions. You have to pick your battles……..
Houston, we have pictures! This is going to be a rather lengthy post, not because I have a lot of prose to share with you, rather a LOT of pictures.
So here is a picture of the spinning wheel, oiled and having already seen action. I took this picture out in the middle of my street, since my lawn was still wet with dew and I didn’t want the wheel to get all wet. There was a guy from the cable company down the street and he gave me an odd look. I’m sure that if I wasn’t already known as the crazy lady, I surely am after this morning!
Close-up of yarn
Babies r' Us Flag Blanket
WIP Another Baby Blanket
I also took a picture of the Babies r’ Us flag out on some of my neighbors ferns along the street. Yes, I was traipsing up and down my street with a spinning wheel and baby blankets this morning. Don’t you wish you lived in my neighborhood?
This baby blanket was my travel project while I was in Morocco. It was originally a WIP, but I finished it tonight (even wove in the ends) at my Hooker’s Meet-up tonight. It is good to finish a project!
These are to colors that I have chosen for my next traveling baby blanket. They are a change from my usual Bernat Cotton Tots yarn. Instead, I have chosen I Love This Cotton yarn from Hobby Lobby in some decidedly un-baby colors. I figure someone out there will get tired of all the pastels and like a change. Plus, this yarn is SO SOFT! I fell in love with it when I touched it. I’ll let you know how it works up….
Here are some pictures of tonights Hooker’s meet-up at the Panera in the Fashion Square Mall….
Chris and Michael
It was another great night with the Hookers. Michael taught us all how to do the Tunisian Crochet stitch. He’s always a very patient and good teacher and tonight he showed-off those skills by teaching us as a (rowdy) group. As you can see, we have a few male hookers in our group, and a wide range of ages. It is definitely not a bunch of little old ladies sitting around drinking tea! Tonight we discussed (among lots of other things) a penis rating (he gets 4 wieners up!) for men, Tyra’s drinking binoculars, David’s cross-dressing in Germany (it was apparently some sort of costume thing, but I don’t know….) and the best ways to cut up plastic bags to crochet them together. We are definitely an odd group!
Anyway, I have more pictures of non-crochet stuff to share with you tomorrow.
P.S. I don’t know why the computer keeps messing with the captions and stuff. I will try to fix them all when my tech support is in the same time zone as I am….
Today I have spun yarn, attended a garden club meeting, tried on a dress and found that it fits and done homework. I have not yet done the cat litter, workwork, lawn mowing or substantial cleaning of the house. And I still cannot remember what month it is let alone what day of the month or of the week for that matter. Doh, going on vacation for a month unless everybody else suffers from the same collective brain lapse for weeks afterwards. If you are the only one, it just makes you look (and feel) like a ditz.
I spun a 2nd bobbin of wool singles and plyed them together tonight. The yarn is hanging in the bathroom drying currently. It is different from my first yarn, it is more consistent, though still not what one would call “good”. Hell, right now I am still just happy that I got the wheel together and that it actually works! And, I know that practice is all that I need, lots and lots of practice….
The Lady Lake Garden Club meeting was as wonderful as I had expected. I love how the members of this group do their roll call by showing a flower of something that is blooming in their yard at the time, or pay a quarter to the club funds. I am so happy to have been chosen by this group 2 years in a row to receive their scholarship andI am always glad to see them. They try to feed me and laugh at (most of) my jokes. Totally my kind of people.
I am attending a wedding in California this weekend that I expect to be pretty fancy. It is in a fancy area, the people are fairly fancy, and the wedding invitation was quite fancy. So, I needed a dress that was a little, well, fancier than the J. Jill pack and wear dress that I’ve been wearing to weddings up to this point. So, I’ve decided to break out the (kinda on the sexy side) Ann Taylor dress that I scored at a thrift shop a while back. I am going to have to find shoes to go with it tomorrow (my shoe collection is growing at an astronomical rate lately, I blame my husband) and I am also getting a haircut/trim. After all of that, I will be shiny.
I am into week 2 of class, and for once I did my homework BEFORE IT WAS DUE. I am a huge procrastinator, huge. Normally, I do homework in the hours prior to it’s due date/time. I should do this non-procrastination thing more often I think. I kinda like it:-)
Non-sequitor. I am going to buy some glow-in-the-dark yarn tomorrow. It is very exciting to me (though a little pricey, will use the 40% off coupon at Michael’s) and I plan on using it in one of the massive scrapghans that I am working on. It could be fun to go to be only to see a glowing stripe across your bed. Ideas like this amuse me.
Jiji the large cat has just awoken and decided that my lap is too empty. I am going to sign-off for tonight in order to protect myself from a grand mauling. Hopefully, pictures will be forthcoming.
Yes, as you can probably guess from the title of this post, I have forged ahead and put together the spinning wheel. And it works. I have spun some singles. It is good. I ended-up putting two coats of the oil rubbing finish (and let me tell you, with all of the long, cylindrical pieces to this thing, I think that I could easily be a guy now from all of the practice that I have had. Think about it, rubbing a hunk of wood up and down over and over….) and it looked good and I’m not planning on having dinner on this thing, so I started putting it together. It had amazingly easy to read instructions for as many parts as it contains. I wouldn’t suggest putting it together while drunk (which one could do with many Ikea furnishings) but it is easier to read than the average Ikea instruction manual. I have a masters degree in Ikea instruction manuals as we remodeled our entire kitchen and most of the living room and dinning room in Ikea, so don’t take the comparison lightly. Anyway, major kudos to the folks at Ashford for coming up with such a well thought-out manual!
Meara already hates the wheel. I will have to keep an eye on any spare parts to make sure that she doesn’t destroy them out of spite. See, normally I would be sitting on the couch watching a movie with Meara and Weezy on my lap crocheting. A dog on the lap is not conducive to good spinning, at least not at this point in my learning. She was sitting at my feet sighing looking up at me woefully the entire time I was spinning. Weezy, however, didn’t give a damn and had ensconced herself in the blanket that I have been working on on the couch.
I was talking on the phone with an old friend of mine telling him about the spinning wheel and stuff, then I started apologizing about it. He sort of gave me a little hell about apologizing, saying things like “…spinning and crochet and knitting and stuff like that are just as much art as sculpture….” I hate it when others deride what I do as less than a type of art, and here I was doing it to myself. Why do we in the fiber arts do that? In many cases, it takes as much talent, time, dedication, and even education to create what we make as it would a painter or sculptor. And yes, there are a lot of folks in the fiber arts who make toilet paper cozies, but there are folks who make ugly (to my eyes) watercolors of the seashore. Is it because that this craft wasn’t really a craft all that long ago, but rather a needed part of everyday existence? If someone didn’t shear the sheep/spin the wool/knit the clothing, it would be a very chilly winter. Is it because we don’t have to do it anymore that we are poked fun at because we choose to?
(Sniff) I don’t see folks being made fun of for gardening.
Anyway, no pictures of the spinning wheel, or of me spinning yet as it is night and not the best time to take pictures. Oh, and would need a 3rd hand to take a picture of me spinning, as it seems that most of my hands are already in use while doing it:-)
Tomorrow I am going to the Lady Lake Garden Club’s meeting to, well, thank them for the money that they have given me in the form of a scholarship this year. Yes, I am a good enough student that I actually get scholarships. I find it ironic that when I really could have used the money the most (when I first started going back to school) I couldn’t get a scholarship to save my life. Now, I am ok and I get scholarships. However, I am NOT going to complain!!! I find it hard to believe that I am actually going to be graduating in the near future, and more than likely, cum laude to boot! Yes, I am tooting my own horn so to speak, get over it. We all need to toot our own horns once in a while, especially when we’ve just put together a spinning wheel!
Today I hot oiled my spinning wheel. To every female (and I am sure, a few hair conscious males out there) who lived through the early 90’s, this brings up memories of little squirty vials that you were supposed to put in a glass of hot (not boiling) water to “activate” the oil, and then spread this warm grease on your head. And then wash it back out. The ends to which we will go in order to achieve “beauty” as it is classified at the moment. Anyway, so I am doing something to my spinning wheel that is more or less not at all like that. For starters, it involved a hot GLUE pot, and absolutely no water anywhere. Basically, I took a very small amount of hot oil on a rag and then rubbed like hell. Way more work than the hot oil for your head. Anyway, I now have layer one of the “hand rubbed oil finish” on my spinning wheel. At least 2 more layers to go before I get to actually put it together, let alone play with it. Sigh. And watch, I get it all rubbed and oiled and put together and then……then…….I go to California for the weekend for a wedding. Sigh.
This has been a summer of weddings for me. In early August, I had one in Nebraska to attend (which was a LOT of fun) then a few weeks later, one in Morocco. Now we are on to the California part of the summer, and then one more in the fall in Chicago. I feel like I am too old to be going to this many weddings. Aren’t you supposed to have the whole wedding craziness when you are like 23? I guess that all the folks that my husband and I know are a little…..different. Go figure, right?
There’s also been a bumper crop of babies of late as well. I have been a stitching up baby blankets as fast as I can find a seat in an airplane. My travel projects are almost always baby blankets. In fact, more than one friend has come to find that the baby blanket that I am giving their newborn is more traveled than they are. Baby blankets are easy to pack and carry and I never use a pattern for them. Oh hell, I scarcely ever use a pattern for ANYTHING, let alone baby blankets.
Here are some past baby blankets:
Baby Blankets that I made for Twins
I’ll have more to post soon as I have one that we are calling the “Babies r’ Us Flag” and a female version of the one above. Both need to be finished post haste as the babies have both been born. Ugh.
I don’t do blankets for weddings. First off, grown-ups are much bigger than babies, and much pickier. They care about things like “color” and “design”. Babies poop on design. So, for weddings, I tend towards Target gift cards (plus, they are easier to pack). If any of these marriages make it to 20 years, then we might talk about a blanket. Until then, it’s just too much to even think about it….
Hell, I don’t even have my spinning wheel put together yet.
I don’t really feel up to being creative right now, cleaning up dog poop from previously pictured cuties really takes the creativity right on out of a person (though, I am thankful that they are small dogs as I have cleaned-up rottweiler poop in the past, and that will just knock you flat on your ass!). So, I have decided to do a list of things that you probably don’t know about me. Here goes…
1.) I own over 3000 books. I have more books than many small libraries do. It’s a pretty amazing thing to behold, especially in a house that is under 1000 square feet.
2.) I have been working on my degree in horticulture since 1995. I am finally set to expire, I mean graduate, this coming spring from the University of Florida. Which, coincidentally, was voted the #1 party school in the US this year. Go Gators!
3.) I love to sleep. If one could really call sleeping a pastime, it would totally be mine. And I am GOOD at it, like olympic level good. I need my 8 hours or I am a seriously cranky woman. However, I have a very hard time sleeping in public (like on planes or trains or places where folks are waiting for planes and trains).
4.) I write letters. With real paper and quite often a fountain pen. This is not some sort of response to an ever increasingly computerized world, I have been doing this consistently since I was in grade school. I like to write on paper much more than I do typing. I tend to be able to show my emotions through my handwriting a little better than through emotion-cons. I also tend to coat the envelope of my letters with stickers. I love stickers.
5.) I crochet. I tend to crochet blankets. I do not like reading patterns, but I love looking at pattern books. I am trying to make a blanket from a pattern right now and it’s like trying to get me to speak dolphin. Neither is very pretty.
6.) I can swear pretty raucously in Bulgarian.
7.) I love airplanes. I love being by airports for the really little planes (you know, the 2 seat-er Cessna’s and planes like that). My brother is in the Iowa National Guard and is a crew chief for a Black Hawk helicopter. Other than the whole “going to Iraq for a year thing” I am so jealous.
8.) I wanted to elope.
9.) I want to drive to Alaska from Florida. As part of this, I LOVE Northern Exposure and am so VERY VERY jealous of Amy from The Hook and I for getting to move to Cordova, Alaska. So, while I am getting ready to move to somewhere near but outside of London, I am living vicariously through her.
10.) I have loved Martha Stewart since I was in middle school.
I want to pack. I may be the only human on the face of the planet who loves to pack things. In fact, I am also pretty good at it. I don’t know where this talent came from, as I never moved anywhere until college. Yep, grew-up in the same house from the time that I was a couple of days old until I was 17 and went off to Iowa State. So this talent isn’t one that was formed from moving every few years because my dad was in the military or something. No, he was a farmer. I don’t think that I totally understood the whole moving thing until I was well into high school since I didn’t really know anyone who had ever moved. Yeah, I know, weird.
Still, I want to start packing, but I have no place to put the boxes.
Doh.
Very frustrating.
I started finishing my spinning wheel today. Got shit from a coworker about “why do you even want to spin yarn, isn’t it cheaper and better to buy it?”. He just so does not get it I think.
It is going to take a while to put the “proper” oil finish on this thing.
Doh.
So, now to cheer us all up, I am attempting to insert photos into this blog. Isn’t Meara in the laundry cute?
Lucy goosey and company
Yes, I have geese. Don’t y’all?
Cutie Weezy
Ok, that’s it for today. I’ll introduce you to the rest of the Humke zoo later.
I haven’t been to a Hooker’s Meet-up in a month. If any of y’all know anything about me, then you will know that this is probably the longest that I have gone without my hooking hook-up since I started, well, hooking-up. (Yeah, I know, but I just couldn’t resist!). I’ve missed my crazy gang of hookers pretty seriously. I was sitting in Marrakesh on Thursday wondering what they were all up to. I know, pretty pathetic, I mean, I was in MOROCCO for God’s sake! And I was missing my CROCHET meet-up! I was also missing my dogs and cats pretty damn seriously too, just so that you know. I kept thinking, “Meara would love to smell/roll-in/try to eat that,” all over the place. Andlet me tell you, there are plenty of places in Morocco that I was thinking that! However, missing the kitty’s was a little harder as there were cats EVERYWHERE! Anyway, story for another time…
Today I took almost the entire Humke zoo to the vet. We were without the birds as they have different vetting requirements to get into the UK. Lets just say that I have to pull a freaking CITES permit for them. I have the file-folder of DOOM started, and folks, it’s only gonna get fatter! Anyway, so I’m schlepping all 4 cats in their crates and 2 dogs (for whom I forgot to bring leashes) and a box full of blooming African violets (I am a weirdo) up the steps to the vets office door at the ass-crack of dawn in order to have a blood test done to make sure that their rabies vaccines took. Then, I have to wait 6 months to make sure that they don’t have rabies! This rant is directed towards the folks who thought this plan up to torture me and my pets. You, are a fuckwit and need to have a fucking chip implanted in your neck to see how it feels you assholes and blood drawn every other week and a ginormous man wearing a t-shirt saying “hurt me baby” who giggles like a little girl and wears combat boots makes you their bitch and puts you in a crate and drives around with you in it for a while. Oh, and don’t forget the plane ride in the cargo hold asshole. While I’m at it, I am going to rant at the stupid, small-minded pricks who do not allow any dog who “may” belong to a “dangerous breed” to come into the country. ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND?!?!?!?!??! There are pit bulls, unaltered I might add, on every freaking corner in the UK. What planet are you ON? (Or maybe, I should ask, what areyou on?) I am having to leave my baby, Micheal, with my brother in Iowa because he might be part pit bull (or part boxer, or part stupid, who knows!) and you do not allow them into your country. He has an obediance higher learning degree. He is 10 years old. He has been neutered since he was 5 months old. Y’all are just assholes. Punish the PEOPLE, not the dogs. I don’t know why this concept is so difficult to understand or accept.
Ok, rant is done, for now. Sorry about that. As you can guess, this is not a “family friendly” sort of blog. In other words, don’t use it as a bedtime story for your little ones unless you want their first words to be, “fuck off mommy.”
Sarah Jane Humke 
