Sarah Jane Humke

I’ll Spin You Right Round Baby

Sarah Jane Humke

January 17, 2009

What a fun day. Today I went to the S.O.C.K.S. (South Orlando Crocheters, Knitters and Spinners) 5th annual Distaff day. It was a blast and the first time that I have ever gotten a chance to spin with other people. It is also the first time a photo of me spinning has been taken.

The folks to the left of me in the picture came all the way from Gainesville for the day. There were a lot of spinning wheels there and even a loom!

I do wish that more of the Hookers had come. I was the only person there that listed crocheting as my primary rather than knitting. I just wish that we were out there more declaring are hooking independence. This might be why the industry tends to give us sort of short shrift as we aren’t out there showing off our stuff like the knitters! Hookers!!! Get your asses out there and make yourselves known damnit!!! Ok, end of lecture.

There were items that had been made that were for sale as well as yarns that folks were ready to part with for sale and I was, well, pretty good.

This photo really doesn’t do it justice. It is, however, 4oz of Seawool pencil rovings dyed by Celena Crews of Rocket Yarn. You can find her stuff on ETSY here.

I also got this little cutie:

She’s a little polymer clay bead that one of the organizers of the event makes.

I took a large bag of yarn for the free table (as well as two boxes of slightly cold injured violets) so I didn’t feel bad about taking this very little bag of yarn home with me. It contained 4 teeny-tiny balls of Lightweight DK wool yarn from Rowan in shades of grey.

Definitely not a stashbuster (at least not in my house!).

We also got to make shawl pins by choosing our own beads. Here’s mine. Not exciting except maybe in how unexciting it looks. But it is red, my favorite….

It was a LOT of fun and I would totally suggest to anyone that can go to this next year to do so. I got to meet a lot of great folks and SPIN IN PUBLIC!

On my way there I stopped at a Wal-Mart. Now normally I do not like to shop at Wal-Mart. I don’t like a lot of their practices and well, then one in my area is NASTY. But, I needed something pronto and I didn’t have time to go to Target which was way out of my way. So, I ran in and ended-up running out with this:

It is a new set of drawers for my sticker collection (which had recently overflowed into two of the normal sized plastic drawers and was being a real pain-in-the-ass). It is 3’4″ tall and about 29″ wide. It is a beast and I love it. It is exactly the right size for my stickers with a little room to grow…

All in all, a most fun and pretty productive day as I actually got some spinning done!! However, the super-fucking-secret pain-in-the-ass is still there, awaiting me. I am also still washing that big-ass Romney fleece. It is, thankfully, nearly done….

(MSW-103 Birthday spa day 14)

As she waits for pizza

Sarah Jane Humke

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January 16, 2009

I ordered a pizza on-line for dinner tonight. While this may seem like no big deal to a lot of you out there it is a HUGE deal to me for 2 reasons. Reason #1 Up until a couple of years ago you couldn’t order pizza in any form to be delivered to this neighborhood as it was “too far out”. Reason #2 It is Pizza Slut which I feel make the best breadsticks this side of heaven and I am in my pj’s. Come on, that is just freaking awesome folks! I am wearing a pair of Mutts pj pants and a long sleeved Valley Crest freebie shirt from PLANET student career days. I am rocking the “lazy at home look”. Fuck it. I am so not out to win a fashion show in my own fucking home! Besides, the “Love Crew” arrayed around me really doesn’t give a damn as long as I am liberal with the treats and let them out in a timely manner!

The Love Crew

Last night was Hooking night. I was good to see (most) of the gang! (I’m saying that some of the gang wasn’t there not that it wasn’t good to see everyone that was there.) We had a good time and didn’t get threatened with expulsion from Panera Bread at all so I count it as a win for the home team.

I am still washing wool though slightly more carefully now after burning a spot on my right hand with a pot of boiling water on Wednesday night. I am almost done with the Romney wool and I have a serious crush on the shepherd who brought that wool to Rhinebeck. I wish her/him many, many healthy twins this spring and many mild days for them to be born into. It is soooooooo clean. Compared to the other fleeces that I washed up to this point, this one is a serious walk in the park. With some one you like. Maybe even someone you would like to hold hands with. Holding hands. Laughing and giggling. Yep. Folks. It is that good. I am having fun washing this fleece (other than the scalding water on dominant hand thing).

Ok, maybe I need to get out more as I just realized what I just wrote. I am having fun washing a dirty sheep’s fleece in really hot water in my washing machine. Wow. Some serious dork material there. I am already guessing at the numerous bills for a therapist that my as yet unconceived daughter will have when she has to overcome her childhood. “My mother would put these bags of dirty wool along with some dish washing liquid in the clothes washing machine and just sort of, you know, let it soak. Then she would spin out the water and later like wash my clothes in it! Even my underware!!!“.

To my future daughter: Get over it. You’re made of stronger stuff than that (trust me, you came out of me, you are stronger stuff than that if you realize it or not.). Love, Your Future Mom

(Is it wrong to start a countdown to Maryland Sheep and Wool when I have several major events coming up in my life before then? Like a move to another continent and graduating from college???? Oh fuck it. MSW-104 days. Birthday Spa day-15)

Washin Wool, Wooly Washin

Sarah Jane Humke

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January 14, 2009

So, I am back to washing wool. I still have a long way to go, but have gotten through most of one box that has vexed my husband by sitting in the kitchen for a few months now. I have found that (gasp!) smaller batches actually make the whole overall process go more quickly. Go figure. So I am working on washing da wool once again. You may ask (and with good reason), “Why now, in the middle of a move?” Well, for starters, I don’t want to take dirty wool to the UK. I am not sure what their rules are on that but, quite honestly, at this point I really don’t want to find out! I am afraid that I would have to fill out a permit for it and that is not going to happen! Secondly, I don’t really want to pack dirty wool period. It smells. I enjoy the scent of shorn fleeces but I am not going to subject the rest of my family’s possessions to be scented like that. I think that my husband will thank me both in the short run (the box is out of the kitchen dear!) and in the long run. And lastly, I think that I am getting hyped-up over the thought of going to Maryland Sheep and Wool (I booked my car today on Priceline!!!)

Last night was Yarn Therapy at Infusion Tea. I really like that this group was named in such a way as to not make crocheters feel like red-headed stepchildren. (Man, with all of the mixed marriages out there, I’m sure that there are a lot of read-headed stepchildren out there. Where did that saying come from? Does anybody know?) However, last night is was just Terri (the founder of the group) and I. No ICAN, but there was a book club (but none of them were breastfeeding during the course of the night….) and it was in general a pretty busy night for a tea joint. Since Terri was the only one to show-up besides myself, she got the whole load of violets that I seem to take everywhere with me nowadays. It was still a very fun night even with just the two of us though I didn’t seem to get much done on the super-fucking-secret blanket. It is the never ending storyline. (I think that you need to be around my age to get that joke….)

I took some pictures of the office. It is now offically “full” meaning that no more boxes are going into it. You can imagine that this makes it a little hard to photograph. First I tried to take a picture of the wall of boxes with very little space to take it (basically a walkway area).

So then I tried to take a picture of the top of the solid mass of boxes that is the office. It didn’t go so great….

To give you some perspective, there is a little less than a foot from the top of the white thing and the ceiling.

However, my yarn room is the most organized that I’ve ever had it.

Maybe not for long with the Milo cat in it!

I have talked to folks who know me about Belle and Willma, my twin sister cats. I’m sure that a lot of folks have thought something along the lines of, “Uh-huh, a lot of cats look similar….” Well, here is a very rare picture of the sisters together in one picture.

Belle is in the back and Willma is in the front.

I am, so far, seriously enjoying the Never Not Knitting Page-a-Day calender by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee. It is like getting a little hit of her blog only first thing in the morning (or whenever I fracking wake up!) and so far it has been really fun. I’m also diggin the fact that my daily Get Fuzzy calender is now in color! Has my life really contracted to this???

Working on the Tea Thing

Sarah Jane Humke

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January 13, 2009

I am writing this post from Infusion Tea, a cosy tea joint (that just sounds wrong on many levels yet I persist in using it!) where I am waiting for somebody (anybody!) to show up for Yarn Therapy night. Last week Lily and I were the only ones to come (along with a lovely, though non-yarny Tech Support) though the ladies of ICAN which is a c-section support group were there in force (and took home a lot of violets:-)).

Today has been an odd one. I mailed off the CITES permit application for the birds to the UK via very expensive Global Express mail. There is just something wrong about spending nearly $40 to mail 5 pieces of paper. Oh well, it had to be done. However, I did get some good news. The UK Animal Health folks will allow their applications to be turned in via either e-mail or fax. I told the man on the other end of my Skype phone call that if he weren’t an ocean away I would have kissed him. On the mouth. It was that exciting of news.

Speaking of exciting news………I booked my flight to Maryland Sheep and Wool. Alas, I won’t be there right when they open the gates, I couldn’t figure out a way to fly on Friday night that wasn’t going to cost , well, let’s put it this way, I would only be able to go I wouldn’t, however, be able to buy anything nor sleep anywhere or drive to get there. That expensive. Oh, and I would have had to leave my own graduation from college. I am pretty damn sure that that scenario wouldn’t go down too terribly well. So I am leaving on Sat. morning on the earliest flight that I could find. Southwest=$129. Woo hoo! Maryland Sheep and Wool here I come!! (Now I need to work on getting Tyra to come with me…..).

This past weekend we went down to the uber touristy part of town (I-Drive) to go to the Coldwater Creek outlet. I didn’t find anything there that really called out to me so we went on to the other outlet mall. There I found sweaters at Eddie Bauer for $8.99 each!!!!! I got 3 different colors of that one. They were in a rack of 70% off! Serious score! I also got a pair of hiking type shoes at The North Face outlet as well as a squall jacket that was half off of their half off. It was around $60. The Hubby found a pair of biking shorts for $18 so all in all, it was a good shopping trip. Everything purchased was needed and for really good prices. Plus, it felt good just to be out of the house and not packing:-)

Tech support is back in London town for work once again, though this time for only a week. He will be looking at a few houses while he is there and has lined up help with the bird move (which should be interesting no matter which way you look at it!). I have been working on getting some non-sedative, calming drugs for the furry animals. The cats apparently get Valium and the dogs get Xanex. I am planning on testing it on each of the pets in order to make sure that A.) they don’t have any adverse reactions to them and B.) that they work for the length of time needed. So, I will be pilling one animal each day and observing their behavior. Should make for an interesting week when I get those drugs! I might request some for me before this is all over!!!!!

Before I forget…. Happy Birthday to my friend Sarah Jane (no, I am not crazy, she has the same name as I)!!! This has been sort of a crazy year for her becoming a new mom and all (MH is her little cutie) and I am sure that next year will be even better. I hope that both you and MH got a nap today!!! Happy Birthday Sarah!!!

Sarah Jane and MH in Ackley after Christmas this year

It Is (for the most part) DONE!

Sarah Jane Humke

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January 12, 2009

EndWe have done the insane, the impossible, the fuzzy and bulky. We have cataloged my yarn stash. Note that I did not say “my entire yarn stash”. That will have to wait for the UK as there were a LOT with no labels or with labels that were so, well, mysterious, or in other languages so they will need some research. The main bulk of the yarn, however, is in my Ravelry notebook though with no pictures or really any details to speak of. Chris helped a LOT. In fact, he really entered most of the yarns since he was just so much faster at typing them in. So, this means, I have been truly been laid naked before my husband. He now knows, in very graphic detail just how large the stash actually is. Oh, I have been so cut-off from Hobby Lobby and eBay. So. Cut. Off. (But then again, he isn’t home this week…..:-))

I want to extend some kudos to a company that has really rocked for me. I ordered the Charcoal Walking Coat from them a few weeks before Christmas in order that I could wear it home over the (frigid) holidays. At the end of the 5 days that I wore it, there was a small hole in the seam directly below the right pocket. I called Land’s End a few days before I got home. The phone was answered on the 2nd ring by an actual human (and a very sweet one to boot who had a fabulous Wisconsin/Swedish accent) and the whole process took a total of 15 minutes and I only talked to 2 people and they were sending the coat out straight away and I can send the defective one back in the new one’s packaging postage paid. It was the easiest customer service that I have received in a long time. It makes me want to buy more things from them just because I know that this is what I will get if I have a problem. There is a lesson there for a LOT of companies (namely United Airlines).

I took some pictures of some of the much talked about violets over the weekend.

This one is called Spectacular and it really is. It give you some perspective as to how large that flower is, the pot it is in is about 4″ across. The flower is nearly 2″ and it is really amazing.

It’s getting harder to fill boxes as the office is nearly full and we will need to get into it still so I can’t put too much more in there. The books are almost completely packed, just a few here and there, maybe 3 more boxes. I’ve also packed most of my Wedgewood china as well as most of the fragile stuff. I’ve even started to pack clothes. I really need to get up in the attic and start pulling whatever is left up there down and sorting through it. Alas, I will need Chris’ help with this and he just went off to London today for a week. Ugh. Packing is starting to wind down a little and thank goodness as I am exhausted!

We Have Both Dreamed of Boxes

Sarah Jane Humke

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January 8, 2009

Packing is in full-swing here. We’re up to the mid 200’s in the box numbers. Mind you a lot of those are the wonderful cat food and litter buckets that I am obsessive about saving since they make great yarn containers but they are not the biggest things to pack things into. However, they are free and quite sturdy so we are using them. Most of the books are packed, there are maybe just a few hundred left. Hey, after probably 2700 or so, a few hundred doesn’t seem too big of a deal! Anyway, this is a picture of the source of our related dreams.

I was going to write about the 2(!) new pairs of girly shoes that I got at Target and 1 pair at Marshall’s last week. But since they got packed before they were able to be photographed you will just have to wait for that thrill. Instead, I will amuse you with pictures of the yarn count going down.

These were taken when the count was at around 200. It’s at around 400 at this point. Take a moment and imagine. Now add 4 cats, 2 dogs and 2 increasingly tired humans. You get the idea. You can check out the ever growing stash count here on the Ravelry site. If you aren’t a Ravelry member and you are reading this you seriously need to get your ass over there!!!!

So, a little Christmas sharing. My brother had be warning me that A.) Monster Mutt Micheal wouldn’t remember me and that B.) He was “fuzzy” and that he was C.) “fat”. This is what I found when I got to Ackley.

He looked exactly like he did when I left him except sometimes he was surrounded by white.

It was certainly a “White Christmas” as we got at least 4 inches of snow very early on Christmas Eve. It was easily one of the prettiest Christmases that I have seen in Iowa ever.

While we were in Ackley we got to spend some time with our friends Sarah and Dan and, of course, the ever growing MH. We went out to eat at the Ackley Family Diner as they were passing through the area on their way from Chicago to Sioux City.

You can see that MH has gotten quite a bit more active in the few months since we last saw him. His newest trick is grabbing things and pulling, so we spent a lot of time baby proofing the area around whoever was holding him at the time as things like menus and drinks and cameras were in serious peril if they came within his reach.

The Hubby and I had better get cracking and make this little cutie a future wife post haste!

That same day we also went to one of my favorite yarn shops in the Midwest (and probably the world) The Rose Tree Fiber Shop. It was busier than I expected for the day after Christmas. I guess that everyone was just stir crazy after so much time at home with the family (I may have been projecting a little bit there…).

I love this shop and can spend hours there despite the small size of it.

Ok, I need to sleep sometime tonight in order to have the strength to keep up with the hookers tomorrow night. Goodnight!

I Should Really (and I mean really) Be Committed For This

Sarah Jane Humke

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January 5, 2009

My husband is a saint. No, it’s not that he only has the patience of one (which he does) but that he is, in fact, as saint. The pope just doesn’t know it yet. Screw the pope (he probably needs it!), the world doesn’t know it yet. I am sure that some folks kinda figured, since he married me, but let me tell you why……

He went with me to IOWA for Christmas which meant a layover in O’Hell airport which lived up to it’s name in every way.

The “layover” turned into a cartrip with an ex of mine who (luckily) was traveling home to Iowa for Christmas (thanks again Joel!).

My mother tried to feed us both within an inch of our lives. No, she’s not Jewish, she’s Iowan. We get pork (and lots of it!).

My in-laws gave “us” a new Nikon D40 camera for Christmas. Chris is the only thing alive that isn’t too fast to shoot. Thus, he had a week of me snapping pictures of him ALL THE TIME.

We have begun packing for the move. The majority of books are in boxes in what was once my office/studio. It is now a very full room.

And last, but definitely not least, I have decided to start inventoring the yarn stash as we are in the process of packing and moving to England!!!

(See what I mean about being committed? I was serious…)

I will have pictures and more stories tomorrow. I promise. Even if I am blogging at Yarn Therapy tomorrow night. BTW, Yarn Therapy is tomorrow night at Cottage Industry Coop in College Park. See you there!

Biore Love

Sarah Jane Humke

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December 18, 2008

Oh how I love to Biore.

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I haven’t had a good biore night in a while, so tonight I decided to Biore after the Happy Hookers.

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Then I started playing with the photobooth feature on the computer…

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There is something seriously fun about the biore strips…

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They just add a whole new diminson to my face.

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I get way too much pleasure from them I think…

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This is what happens when you mix Sarah with way too much caffeine and throw in a Mac. And, of course, Biore strips, can’t forget the biore strips.

P.S. Liberated more boxes tonight. Wish that they would at least flatten them!

I Am Becoming SUCH a Girl!

Sarah Jane Humke

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December 17, 2008

I bought not one pair of shoes on Monday but two! And I am PMSing like a banshee right now. Actually, thank God for my PMS as the major symptom is that I start cleaning. If it wasn’t for that once a month hormonal surge I would have lost most of my pets by now somewhere in the house! Anyway, back to the shoe shopping spree. Here are the pair that I can justify. It is a pair of New Balance Walking shoes that I found for super clearance at Marshall’s for $25 and they fit perfectly! I am moving to a place where stuff like this is way more expensive than it is here. So there!

See, you can even see the red clearance tag on them still!

The next pair are a little, ok, a lot less justifiable. But they were also serious Target clearance and they are so cute!!! (See what I mean? Total girl.)

Seriously. What is happening to me?? Suddenly I have an urge to buy high heeled shoes (not to wear them yet, Thank God, only to buy them) and I have never ever had this type of urge before. Why the sudden sadistic tendencies towards my feet I wonder?

I also got a new pair of glasses last week. They are Coach (see! See! More girly-ness!!!) and I think make me sort of look “hot teacher” or maybe even “hot librarian” (oh, to be a hot librarian, so long as it isn’t at the downtown library where all the homeless crazy folk hang out [not that there is anything wrong with homeless crazy folk I just wouldn’t want to be a hot librarian around them, or, really, any librarian around them as they tend to have, well, an odor about them that is, well, unpleasant…]). Here they are….

Now that I think about it, it would probably be “hot librarian that married well” since they are Coach….

Today at the post office I had a package waiting (and in fact, that was the only thing waiting for me).

I love how they package their stuff. So very classy.

In all of this packaging goodness was my new winter coat!

Opps, still more packaging!

So, I totally got the crazy neighbor award of the day for these photos.

I was dancing around in the front yard to Moby’s Extreme Way’s wearing a knee length wool coat taking pictures of myself and yodeling “I would stand in line for THIS!” when it is in the mid 70’s! Yep, so going to the library, uh, I mean loony bin if my neighbors have anything to say in the matter.

Yesterday I also went to Nordstrom’s Cafe Bistro for lunch (home of the best french fries maybe ever and a DAMN good creme brulee). Sitting a little ways from me was sort of a classic “lady who lunches”. You know what I mean. Too expensive of an outfit to actually work in an office and way too much plastic surgery. Anyway, at first I thought that she was some sort of a stroke victim because of the way she was eating her salad. I took me a little bit before it dawned on me (I am not around this species very often, I am not familiar with their ways ok!??!?) that she had had so much stuff (I don’t know what? Silicon? Collagen? Butt Fat?) injected into her lips that she couldn’t like move them properly. There she sat in all her liposuctioned, boob lifted and amplified, tummy tucked, nose jobbed glory and I felt kinda bad for her. That was, until she caught me gawping at her (I’ll admit it, I was gawping. She was a MAGNIFICENT specimen!) and kind of smirked at me in a way that very clearly conveyed “you just wish that you were me!”. Then I just thought that she was silly and sad. That, and my lips were still nicer than hers and I didn’t have to have any ass fat pumped into them!

It’s official! I’ve had 1000 views of my blog! Congratulations to reader Joel for being the 1000th viewer. As the lucky winner, he will get a personal visit from the author this holiday season! Oh, wait, I was going to see him anyway……

The Post Office LOVES Me!

Sarah Jane Humke

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December 15, 2008

I mailed off the Christmas cards today. They were almost all 59 cents, which is the standard going rate for wedding invitations. I think this is the divine raspberry in my face since I never mailed out any wedding invitations to our wedding since I wanted to elope. Oh, and we had a grand total of 10 people at our wedding including us. Invites were not big on my to-do list. Anyway, so I was given the choice between the pastel love-y, wedding-y heart or a stamp with James Michener on it. I think that you can guess which way this girl went. The man was in a Hawaiian print shirt with a lei on it! How perfect is that?! Anyway, I had 4 international envelopes and 34 national ones that went on their merry way today. I also mailed a package. Tomorrow I will have 4 more to go out and then I am done with the packages. Done I tell you! Done!

I am not, however, done with the blue and white pain-in-my-ass that has been plaguing me for months now. There is something wrong with this pattern, I don’t know what but the math is just not working out. I need to sit down and graph it but there is just something that isn’t working. So what do I do? I keep trying to make it work. This tendency helps to explain some of the relationships in my mid 20’s. Actually, a lot of the relationships in my 20’s. Anyway, I kind of like how it looks even though it is turning out a little bumpy due to the math, or perhaps due to the lack of it. Who knows?! Either way, I really wish that Anne Halliday could sit down and explain this bitch to me. I would even start it yet again if I could get that….

This is why I don’t follow patterns.

However, the other pattern that I have loaded in my crochet machine gun is going swimmingly. I don’t mind patterns that are squares or, in this case, octagons. Less math, I think, and the math on the last piece isn’t going to affect the rest of the darn afghan.

In other news, I am mostly done with the Christmas shopping. Tomorrow I will be done with the shopping for Tech support. I am getting him what I can think of and then to heck with the rest. I mean, if he wanted something he can go and make an Amazon.com wish list like the rest of us normal folk! Seriously, he even admits that he is seriously hard to shop for so I have pretty much given up. Oh, and did I mention that his birthday is in a few days?!?!? Seriously, he is so fucked on so many levels in the whole gift receiving department.

So, I have been doing some seriously covert operations in the neighborhood in the past couple of weeks. There are new people living across the road from me. I haven’t actually seen them at this point, just cars going in and out, but I am pretty sure that they exist. Because they leave boxes. Lots of nice, clean, reasonably sized boxes. Out by the curb. 2 nights a week. I am like a cat drawn to empty boxes or maybe a 5 year old. At the very least I am a 30 year old who is moving in a couple of months.I have gotten a LOT of boxes from them so far. I’ve risked being run over by the crazy rednecks in my neighborhood or running into the bear (garbage nights are also bear nights [seriously, we have bears in the neighborhood and no I am not talking about “wash-bears” which is, I believe, the Dutch term for raccoons. We have those too. No, these are nice North American Black Bears which are omnivores though in this area are mostly herbivores and garbivores.]). What can I say, I live on the edge. However, I probably have some new neighbors who think that people come and steal their garbage in the middle of the night in their new neighborhood. And in a way, they are right. But I’m not really stealing it per se, more like I am reusing it then I will recycle it or freecycle it (assuming that there is freecycle over there) and they will get reused yet again before getting recycled. Either way, it is one big, green circle of cardboard love.

The Hookers Do the Holidays was a blast. I hope that we didn’t get Lily into too much trouble with her neighbors as we got pretty loud there. Hey, Mango-mosas will do that to, well, us. We all had a fun time. There was WAY more food than we could have possibly eaten and the gift exchange got pretty heated. Those are the best when people really get into them. I got a very cool plastic yarn holder and some red and green yarn.

There is also a pattern that came along with it (scowl muttering under breath “fucking patterns…”). Nothing against this pattern in particular which I am sure is a charming and lovely pattern. I am just so…….off of patterns right now. Maybe for the rest of my life. I’ll let you know….

The blankets for the parents and in-laws are finished, washed, and in at least one case, packed. The other is being mailed tomorrow. I love Christmas once all the hard work is done…..